


We're Not Alone (if we're together)

by CompactDisc



Series: Aftermath [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abandonment, Dissociation, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Intrulogical, M/M, Mental Breakdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:00:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27785626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CompactDisc/pseuds/CompactDisc
Summary: Remus tries to find Janus post svs redux. He gets a lot more than he bargained for.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Aftermath [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2008288
Comments: 2
Kudos: 58





	We're Not Alone (if we're together)

It was hard to pretend it didn’t hurt; That he was ok being disregarded, pushed aside, skipped. He could hardly filter out the bitterness seeping into his voice as he made his final appearance.

“Not that any of you care, but I am unharmed, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

He felt sick as Patton folded into himself, looking smaller. Did he have the right to act like he cared now? He heard the forming of an apology and immediately cut the other off as he had been so many times before.

“PETER SINGER!”

At this point, the words kept coming, blurring together. He could only hope his words were coherent of what he wanted to say as he continued, stomach twisting as Deceit seemed to listen, genuinely  _ interested _ . Was he really the one Logan should be mad at? He hadn’t pressed skip, after all. He only posed it as an option, and Logan hadn’t missed how quickly the button had been selected.

Finally, he was done, vanished, hardly listening for so much as a goodbye as he let go for the final time.

He fumbled for the lock of his door as he sank down against the wall, wiping his eyes. He was done.

\---

The dark side had never felt so empty.

Jannie was never gone this long. He said he needed to interfere with the video- Something about Logan? Patton being a little nutty? Er- Crabby? No, what was the word Jan used… Froggy! Sure, Remus didn’t exactly know what  _ that  _ was supposed to mean, but he knew he shouldn’t still be gone. Episodes were like, an hour at most! Unless Thomas was having a special without him. Was that why he’d gotten a message from Logan to pick a few random numbers?

It’s been three hours, maybe. Jannie needed a visit.

Remus stuck to the shadows to scare them. Patton and Jannie, standing together, talking in quiter voices than normal. Sure, it was weird, but he wasn’t about to be thrown off until-

Until he heard Patton say Janus’s name.

Clear as day.

When had that happened?    
What  _ did _ he miss?

If there was one thing that Remus noticed, though, Janus seemed calmer. His shoulders weren't tensed and he wasn't looking around frantically. He spoke with a softness that made the Duke's heart ache. He looked.. tired. Was that what he was like without intrusive thoughts around? Did Remus wear  _ that much _ out of him? He couldn't stand listening anymore. He was down the hall before Patton glanced behind him, thinking he heard something.

Roman's room had always been comforting. When the twins had nothing, they had each other. Even when they feigned hating each other Remus could knock on that door and know he'd be let in. But he paused now. There's something weird coming from his room, and he wrinkles his nose, trying to exact what the feeling was until he heard some awful choked noise from inside and his heart  _ shattered _ . It was  _ pain, pain, pain,  _ so much pain and nothing Remus could do. He wanted to knock, he wanted to pull his brother into a hug and fight anyone who dared come near them, find who hurt the prince and hurt them worse. But he couldn't. He knew it would only make things worse. Roman didn't  _ like him _ anymore and if you don't  _ like _ someone they can't  _ help you _ . He shut his eyes tight and moved down the hall.

Knocking on Virgil's door only resulted in a hiss- he didn't bother to say anything after that. Sure, Virgil didn't know it was him, but what difference did it make? That only lowered the chances of him being let in. There was only one door left. 

He didn't know if Logan hated him. He sure didn't act like it. He treated him oddly… human. He wasn't scared, he didn't flinch when Remus screamed violent or obscene nonsense just to get it out of his head. Sometimes he even contributed to the thought, rationalizing it and  _ grounding _ him. Then again, Logan was just like that. He listened. He contributed. He was kind and funny and so  _ smart _ and Remus didn't know how he stood him but he did. He knew Logan had better things to do with his time, but he drew in a sharp breath and knocked. 

There was quiet.

Remus chewed on his thumb nail and sighed, nearly backing up to leave until he heard a sniffle and froze. Was  _ Logan _ crying?

"Logan." He said just loud enough that the other could tell it was him but no one else would hear. "Can I come in?"

The noise behind the door stopped suddenly, like he was holding his breath or choking or-

"... Remus?"

The Duke sighed in relief. "Yeah, Lo. It's me. Can I..?"

"One- One moment-" He heard shuffling and what sounded like- papers shuffling?

"You don't have to organize for me, nerd, I'm not judging. Long as you have clothes on- eh. Well that's not a requirement either but I know you'd probably prefer-"

The door creaked open just enough for Logan to peek out. Remus sucked in a breath at the red puffy eyes staring back at him.

"Well? Are you going to let me in?" Remus tilted his head and forced a smile.

"I am- I am not sure that would be wise."

"Come on, I won't mess it-"

Logan shut his eyes tightly and opened the door, and Remus felt his heart sink. The room was scattered with papers and a computer that looked broken laid on the backtable. The bed was unmade. What hurt more than any of that was Logan, and that the intrusive side could see him fully, he knew the damage was more than puffy eyes. Logan was in his normal outfit, but it was crumpled, his tie lose. His hair was uncombed and messy, and one of his arms had fingernail marks sunk deep into them.

"Oh- God, Logan.."

The logical side sunk into himself, ashamed, and Remus shook his head quickly and cupped the side of his face with a hand. Lucky he'd washed earlier, not that Logan would've noticed in this state.

"How long has this been going on?" 

Logan shrugged, eyes still squeezed shut. He had practically melted into Remus's hand.

"Lolo," He said softly, earning the others gaze finally. "It's ok, just keep looking at me. Your room?-"

"No," Logan replies so softly it's almost a whimper, but with so much desperation that Remus almost wants to since himself. "I'm sorry, I don't-"

"Don't be sorry. Is the dark side ok? You probably don't want the others around, huh?" Logan shakes his head weakly. "Yeah, didn't think so. I'm gonna hold you just for a second so we can sink out, ok?"

The logical side gives a tiny nod and Remus drops his hand only to wrap both around the others waist, pulling him in gently. He feels the side latch on shakily and mumbles little nothings- maybe not sweet, but certainly not as gruesome as his usual- and sinks out slowly.

\--

Logan feels small and weak, but Remus is, perhaps unintelligently, the only person he can find it in himself to trust. Remus is messy and loud and choatic, but he isn't unkind. He listens. He wants Logan's contributions. The logical side can't find the energy to protest. Maybe he'll be dissected for a some strange experiment or maybe this is a cruel joke, but he feels safe and  _ warm _ and Remus is holding him so gently he could practically melt. 

"..gan. Logan?" He hears the Duke's voice again and mentally scolds himself for not listening closer. How long had he been trying to get his attention? How long-

"There you are," Remus hums, and the logical side meets his eyes again. When had he ever been this gentle? "Are you ok if I snap you into pajamas? Nothing unseemly, though you  _ would _ be cute in a nightgown I'm not doing that to you right now."

Logan finds a laugh somewhere, not missing the beam it sparked from the other. "Yes, that- that would be alright."

The other hums softly and snaps quietly, and Logan doesn't have to look down to recognize the warm familiarity of his nasa pajamas. How did Remus..?

"Not everything I know about everyone is intrusive," The Duke sighs, combing one hand through the other's hair. "Patton isn't  _ always _ the one who sets you on your bed when you pass out on the couch, nerd." Logan meets his eyes and lets out another weak laugh, slumping against Remus. It hasn't gone unnoticed that the Duke never quite let go of him.

"Ok, ok, I-.. I need to patch you up, just a little bit, are you ok if we sit down on the bed? Just to make sure you're comfortable?"

Logan nods and he feels himself guided to bed, and he's sitting down. He can feel the other fumbling with something- disinfectant? And it stings when it touches his arm, but he tries not to recoil. 

“Ow.” His voice is quiet and monotone, but Remus pauses to squeeze his hand before he continues. 

“All.. Done!” 

Logan glances down at the bandage and stifles a laugh at the neatly tied bow. 

"You like my handiwork then?" The Duke giggles, earning another small smile from the logical side.

“A touch much for the minimal injuries, don’t you think..?”

“Nah, you messed up your arm pretty badly there, teach. Plus, even when things aren’t that bad sometimes it’s nice to know someone cares about ya. Hence the bow!” Remus did jazz hands and the logical side couldn’t help but laugh, covering his mouth. “There’s Lolo. Wanna talk about what happened..?”

Logan sighed, looking off into the side and scanning the room momentarily. It was neater than he might’ve thought; sure, that didn’t mean it was wholly neat, but it certainly wasn’t utter chaos. He dared say that his own room may look in worse shape than the Duke’s at the moment. The furniture looked beaten up and there were bloody, chaotic drawings pinned to a bulletin board that he focused on.

“You lookin’ at the bulletin board?” Logan was snapped back into reality and realized Remus must’ve followed his gaze. “Sometimes I draw to get all my brain messiness out. It helps me not to trash stuff or hurt anyone.” 

“Some of them are quite good. You’re not half bad at anatomy, Remus.” 

The other appeared to light up at that. “You’re not just saying that?”

“I am not one for false compliments, you managed to make some really realistic scenes.”   
“Thanks! I try, but De stops giving advice at about the third drawing of the day so I kinda wing it.” He beamed. “It means a lot coming from you!”

Logan couldn’t help the smile creeping up on his face again as the other flopped next to him like a dead fish.

“I take it this means you don’t wanna talk about it?”

“I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

“The start is usually a safe bet.” Remus rolled over to face him, tilting his head curiously. Logan laughs at that and rests his head in one of his palms.

“I was trying to provide the others with information. I didn’t want to be intrusive-” The duke wrinkles his nose at that. “-no offense to you, of course, I just figured they’d listen to me more if I was less loud. And then- Well, I guess I hit Patton in the face with a text box. I didn’t mean to, but Roman slashed it with a sword and-”

“Hold on, back up, teach. You hit pops with a text box?” Remus snorted. “That’s kickass. Did they at least _read it_ before hitting it away?” Logan shook his head slowly and the other grimaced. “That’s stupid. It already smacked him. What more harm was it going to do? Might as well read it so the hit was worth something.”

“I suppose Roman wanted to make a point, more than anything.”

“Stupid. Keep going though.”

Logan smiled softly before continuing. “No one was listening to me. And then this skip button appeared, right next to me in bright yellow. Patton didn’t hesitate.” Remus wrinkled his nose again, looking hurt. “Next thing I know, De- Erm, Janus pulls me out of the scene with his cane. He accidentally got me on the neck-”

“That’s that bruise?” 

“Mmhm..”

“Did he- Did he say sorry?”

“Yes.” Logan saw some of the worry and pain in the other’s eyes dissipate. “He didn’t mean to, and he said he would have deleted the button had no one pressed it. He just didn’t want me to get into a poor situation with the others, so he posed the option. He made sure I was ok before leaving. He didn’t really hurt me, Rem.”

“Least he said sorry..” The Duke grumbles. “Has Patton?”

“...No.”

“ _ Why? _ ”

“I don’t even know if he realized what he did.” He sighed softly. “I know he didn’t intend to hurt me, but..”

“That doesn’t make it any better!” Logan has hardly noticed the other grabbing on to his hand. “Did anything else..?”

“Janus took over. He fixed Patton’s.. Situation.”

“His what now?”

“He turned into a giant frog and tried to murder Leslie Odom Junior.”

“..Ah.” Remus blinks. “I think that happened in one of my dreams a while back.”

“It- It what now?”

“Nevermind. Keep going.”

"They forgot about me pretty quick once Janus appeared. After everything I appeared one more time and- Well." Logan gave a weak shrug. "Once I left he revealed his name, to the best of my knowledge. All worry about me was flushed out the door and.. Roman got hurt worse than me anyways." 

"Lo, I'm sorry, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, but that's bullcrap."

The logical side blinks and meets the Duke's eyes again.

"Not only did you get hurt first, I don't even think they know how bad they hurt you." Remus scoffs, face unreadable. "Has anyone tried to check on you?"

Logan pauses at this. "..No?"

"How much do you want to bet they've been trying to check on Roman constantly?"

"For- For good reason though-"

"You don't think you deserve at least a  _ little _ concern?"

"..I-" Logan shut his eyes tightly as he winced before the intrusive side sat his hand on his shoulder. 

"I didn't mean it like that, Lo, I'm sorry I just- Don't you think you deserve better than that? You're kind and considerate and smart, if there's anyone who deserves to be listened to, it's you." 

"You think-" Remus went queit as the logical side opened his eyes again. "Do you really think all of..?"

"Of course I do! Who wouldn't?" 

Logan stared at him for a moment before slumping, and the Duke gave a gentle sigh. "How about we push this back for a little, Lolo? Wanna… watch movies or somethin?"

"That would be.. adequate."

\---

Logan passed out pretty quickly after the first documentary. Remus hadn't noticed at first, but when he looked over once more, the bespectacled side has slumped against his shoulder breathing softly. It was probably his first rest in a while, given those bags under his eyes, and Remus sighed softly as he brushed the hair from his face and took his glasses. The nerd had had a long day. Or- days. He deserved some rest. As he set the glasses on his nightstand, he gently laid Logan back into the bed and shut off the documentary. He wasn't going to let him out of his sight for a while; Logan was hurt. And when you're hurt, you need care. Remus murmured to himself as he nearly got up to leave, but the logical side reached out and grabbed his arm in his sleep. He didn't have the heart to shake him off as he layed back down, heart leaping as the other clung onto him tightly. Things weren't okay, but right now, he felt determined that they would be. 

  
  



End file.
